


pick a star on the dark horizon

by remremy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Flirting, M/M, S4 fix-it, i guess? yeh, idk I'll tag as I write who knows what'll come next, no Eurus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-12 07:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11156889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remremy/pseuds/remremy
Summary: He wants to take Sherlock away somewhere where they can be alone and Sherlock doesn't have to hide, to shake the answers out of him, reach into his mouth and draw out what had almost escaped before he'd swallowed it away, washing it down with a thin joke.





	1. chapter 1

\- John -

Sherlock is huddled into the corner of John and Mary's car as they drive off the tarmac. John is keeping an eye on him out of the corner of his eye. He's so, _so_ confused. Why had Sherlock overdosed? Why had he taken drugs before boarding the plane? What had he meant to say before climbing onto the plane? He wants to take Sherlock away somewhere where they can be alone and Sherlock doesn't have to hide, to shake the answers out of him, reach into his mouth and draw out what had almost escaped before he'd swallowed it away, washing it down with a thin joke. 

Mary is tense beside him. He brushes her elbow with a finger. "Okay?" he asks. He's mostly worried about the baby, his only feelings towards Mary at this point is strained indifference. 

"Mm," she says. "Is he?" She jerks her head towards Sherlock. John finally looks at him head-on and he winces. It seems that he's dropped into a doze, and he looks _awful_ , dark circles under his eyes, and he's jerking slightly in sleep. John taps his knee and Sherlock startles awake, a panicked look in his eyes. His gaze is as frenzied and terrified as it's always been since Sherlock's return, and John wonders if he'll ever find out what caused it. It hurts to see the man he- It hurts to see his friend so afraid just from a tap on the knee. Sherlock's eyes land on John and his body relaxes, though he keeps his face in that controlled-blankness he does when he's shielding himself.

John meets his eyes and smiles at him. "We're almost at the hospital. You might want to stay awake for a bit." Sherlock opens his mouth the whine but John cuts him off with a look. Sherlock slumps back into his seat with a pout and stares out the window. John smiles fondly at him and catches Mary looking at him oddly. He turns and looks out of his own window, avoiding her knowing stare.

\- Sherlock -

They do tests, and it's as unpleasant as always, but made ten times worse by John's presence. He doesn't want to have to see John's disappointed face, the lines in his forehead and around his mouth deep groves. He hates himself in this moment, hates Mycroft, too, for bringing him back onto English soil where he has to exist in John's presence when he's like this. 

Hours later, he's back in John and Mary's car, heading to Baker Street. He notices John watching him the whole ride there. His skin feels strange and his body is tingling all over. He's not looking forward to the withdrawal period, but he is ready to have the damn stuff out of him, if only to make John stop _looking at him like that_. Mary pulls up to the curb before Baker Street.

"Bye Sherlock," Mary sing-songs, and Sherlock has the distinct feeling of being mocked, as he almost always does during any encounter with the woman.

"Mm," he responds with an overly exaggerated smile. He doesn't like her, she's well aware and returns the sentiment whole-heartedly. It works, somehow. He slides out of the car and walk up to the door with a small wave to John through the car window. His fingers fumble with the keys but he gets into the flat and Mary drives away. He makes it up the stairs and has just flopped onto to the sofa with a loud groan when Mrs. Hudson enters with a thunderous but relieved look on her face.

" _Sherlock Holmes_ " she says, hands on her hips. He looks up at her and they stay silent for a few seconds before she sniffs and sits on the sofa with him. She takes his shaking hand and drags it into her lap, rubbing his knuckles roughly. She swipes at her eyes and stares at their hands for a few minutes. Then she turns and hugs him tightly. "I'm _very_ glad you're home," she says, voice thick, and Sherlock's vision fogs a bit.

"Me too," he says, squeezes her a bit. She sits back and takes his face in her hands, smiling wetly at him. She thumbs away the tear that leaks out of his eye and pats his cheek fondly.

"Now, you are coming down with me to my flat, and I'm fixing you a proper meal, no arguing." Mrs. Hudson stands and matches down the stairs, Sherlock behind her.


	2. chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have No idea how drug withdrawl actually looks/feels and i don't feel like looking it up but just play along that This Is Totally How It Works

\- John -

John spends the next few hours worrying over Sherlock. He's fidgeting and pacing and running his hands through his hair and eventually Mary kicks him out. He goes to Tesco, wanders around, and leaves empty-handed. He sits at a coffee shop, buys a pastry, and only ends up eating about a third of if before he throws it in the trash and makes up his mind.

His feet take him to Baker Street on auto pilot, and it's only when John's at the door, his hand raised to knock, when he realizes that he doesn't have an excuse to actually be here. He knocks anyway, swallowing away his panic, and Mrs. Hudson opens the door. She smiles brightly and invites him in, giving him a hug before leading him into her flat. 

Sherlock is curled up in one corner of her floral sofa, a thick knitted blanket around his shoulders. He's shivering and sweating and his hair's an absolute _disaster_ , but he still manages to look beau- Good. He looks good for how much he must be hurting. The telly is turned down low and Mrs. Hudson has taken off her shoes so that she can make as little noise as possible so as not to overload Sherlock's senses. John does the same an sits in a chair beside Sherlock's place on the sofa, and Mrs. Hudson takes her place next to Sherlock.

"Hello John," Sherlock says quietly, eyes flicking up from where his fingers have begun nervously picking at a loose thread with a tiny smile. 

"Hi, Sherlock. How are you feeling?" John asks, smiling back. His anxiety has lessened just from being here with Mrs. Hudson and Sherlock and all that's familiar and _right_.

"Fine. Well- Not really, but. You know." He shrugs. John nods and they all turn back to the telly.

\- Sherlock -

John stays the night. Sherlock has to bite his tongue to keep from protesting.   
Things happen quickly after that.   
John keeps staying at Baker Street. After the drugs are finally out of Sherlock's system they stay up late, night after night, talking for _hours_. It's the most at peace Sherlock has felt since his return. And once John says he's ready, he takes up cases again. 

They are just heading up the stairs when John checks his phone and inhales sharply. Sherlock whips his head around, concerned. 

"Wh-"

"59 missed calls. Mary," John says in a rush, still starring at his phone. 

"Baby," they say together, then they are flying back down the stairs and into a cab towards Mary's flat. 

\- John - 

They get to the hospital and the doctors rush Mary into the back room, who's screaming bloody murder the whole way. John goes to follow but they shut the door on him. He can't help but feel a little relieved. 

He moves to sit beside Sherlock, who is nervously fiddling with his phone, eyes on the door where Mary is. John bounces his leg anxiously and taps his fingers on the armrest of his chair. A particularly loud shriek from Mary makes them both wince. 

 

Twelve _long_ hours later, John is holding his daughter in his arms. Sherlock is hovering over his shoulder behind him and Mary is cleaning her face and neck with a cool wet cloth a nurse gave her. John signs the name _Rosamund Ava Watson_ on her birth certificate and goes back to staring at her. When John glances over his shoulder, Sherlock's eyes are wide and his face is soft. Vulnerable. And in that one look, somehow John knows _everything_ that Sherlock's worked so hard to hide from the world, from himself. Moments flash before John's eyes. 

Sherlock placing a cup of coffee by his hand when John had returned from a late shift at the clinic. Sherlock holding the police tape up for John to duck under in that first case, _"He's with me"_. Sherlock's face when John had walked out into the open at the pool, reciting Moriarty's words, and then when John had revealed the bomb strapped to his chest. Sherlock's face at The Landmark when he'd realized that John hadn't found his joke so funny. Sherlock planning the wedding, Sherlock hearing John call him his best friend, Sherlock behind him at the ceremony, Sherlock's speech, _"redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship", "the man you have saved", "the two people who love you most in all this world"_ , and _countless_ other little moments and John almost stops breathing. He's been so _blind_ , how could he have not seen _this_? Now that John's seen it, it's like it's written into Sherlock's very DNA, he's absolutely _drenched_ in it, and it's so _obvious_ and _Christ_ , this must be what Sherlock feels like all the time. John almost gives into the temptation to kiss him senseless right then and there, but he stops himself. He's still with Mary, if only legally. He decides that he'll get the papers tomorrow. 

That night, John stays at Mary's again. He tells her that he wants a divorce. She agrees and they talk custody over Rosie. Mary immediately says that she wants full custody of Rosie, that with his and Sherlock's lives there won't be time for baby-raising. They argue and argue for hours and John finally storms out. He comes back an hour later and says they can try or equal custody, and that he'll have nothing less. Then Rosie cries and Mary runs to get her from her crib. Mary walks to the kitchen and agrees to his terms, as John falls asleep on her couch.  
   
\- Sherlock -

John comes to Baker Street, but today he's got a small suitcase, a diper bag overflowing with clothes and toys, and a baby carrier. Sherlock rushes to help him with the bags and gets him inside the flat. 

"Mary and I split up," John says. He seems very casual. 

"Oh?" Sherlock responds. He doesn't exactly know what to say. 

"Mm. The room upstairs is still free, yeah?" John smiles easily, face crinkley and warm. It takes Sherlock a moment to formulate an understandable response. 

"Yes, uh. Yes, it is. Still free. Yes."

John smiles at him again and sets the baby carrier on the sofa. "Watch her for me while I take my things up?" Sherlock nods and watches him ascend the stairs. Then he turns towards Rosie. 

She's just woken up, it seems, blinking slowly, squishy face creasing in a big yawn. Sherlock sits next to her and turns the carrier towards him carefully. Rosie smiles and claps her tiny hands at him. Sherlock smiles back and Rosie grasps one of his fingers, immediately popping it in her mouth. Sherlock chuckles and moves his finger around, and Rosie bites at him with her little gums. He pulls his dripping finger out an hits the end of her nose with it, making her stop and blink a few times. He wipes his finger on a corner of the blanket that she's got covering her when John walks back downstairs and heads for the loo.

"I'm just gonna take a quick shower, you sure you've got her?" Sherlock nods and John smiles _again_ \- has John ever smiled this much in his presence, let alone _at him_ before now? Sherlock doubts it. 

The door to the loo shuts and the shower starts up. Sherlock walks into the kitchen to look for some kind of snack now that John's not in the room, he can't know that Sherlock actually can take care of himself, because then John would stop doing it for him, and that cannot happen. He's ducked his head into the refrigerator when he hears Rosie sniffle loudly and he wonders if she's about to cry. He darts over just as her little red face scrunches up and a sharp wail pierces the air. His hands flit around, trying to decide whether to try and pick her up. She yells again and Sherlock picks her up, sitting on the sofa slowly and putting her head in the crook of his elbow and shushes her. She stares up at him with big blue eyes. Sherlock decides that she looks most like John, with his nose and lips and eyes. He smiles down at her and she settles. He walks into the kitchen to distract her, tells her about his experiments. He bops her on the nose with a clean plastic glove and turns, finding John leaning against the counter, face unreadable. Sherlock goes red.   
"John! Oh, well- She was- well, you see, she started crying and I- You were in the shower and I thought-" he stammers as John moves towards him. 

John stops, soft jumper brushing Sherlock's bare arm where he'd rolled up his sleeves. John puts a hand on Rosie's head and meets Sherlock's gaze. He smiles and his eyes drop the Sherlock's mouth. Sherlock flushes up again and John's eyes rise, locking with Sherlock's and he _licks his lips_. Then John smiles _again_ , leaning closer. Sherlock's eyes flutter closed and _oh God_ it's actually happening, and John chuckles and Sherlock can _feel_ the air huffing from out of John's mouth and into his own and-

"Mm," John says. "Thought so." And he's gone, at the kettle, filling it with water and placing it on the stove. Sherlock stares at him and sets a now-sleeping Rosie back in her carrier, fussing with her as he feels John's eyes burning holes into the back of his skull. 

"John," he says quietly as he turns around, voice cracking embarrassingly.  
   
"Soon," is all John says in return. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic isn't really gonna have a set schedule for updating but I'll do it when I can. I've already started writing chapter three and I have a whole Plan for this fic so it's definitely gonna keep updating just kinda irregularly

**Author's Note:**

> I typed this up on my phone so sorry if there's anything funky


End file.
